Upward Spiral

I slept well—a good eight hours. Today was a meditation day. I needed to move energy—a lot of it. I have a meeting with the team at 10:30 am. Lots of movement. I feel a lot of energy in my heart. It's not anxiousness, more like a feeling of creation, getting things done kind of energy. I'm building, creating, imagining, and engaging with myself and others in the city. This energy, however, needs to be moved and distributed. It needs to be shared with others, and the world, but it needs to be put into your work, both with Sychem and Ever Evolving.

This is a new feeling. In the past, if I felt anxiety, it was in my solar plexus area. The sense of good enough or not good enough lives there in this place. For much of my life, I operated from a place of "I'm not good enough," and the anxiety that came with that drove me to a land of good enough, but I didn't arrive at the place I wanted because I was trying to do it by obtaining external belongings. So instead of getting to a different destination, I would go in circles, only to end up at the same place once the external item that made me feel good (a shirt, a car, a job) ran out. All external possessions and achievements have an expiry date on the feel-good factor.

Round and round I went on this karmic merry-go-round until I began to understand that I need to go inward. It's also not about walking a straight path like religion may imply. It's more like a spiral to slowly move upward. At times, the climb can be exhausting, and so you stop to rest, reset, and nurture yourself.

Then with time, the voices within will let you know that it's time to climb again, but instead, we get so comfortable and cozy that we stop moving altogether. This is tough because we return to the circular life. This has many side effects on all levels within and without.

I'm resting, strengthening, and rooting, but I'm also climbing, moving up the spiral not with my body or my mind, but from my heart and spirit.