To Adore and be Adored

I went on a date last night. I wasn't feeling it going in, but I kept an open mind. She's sweet. I'm taking things slow, and by slow, I mean no sex. Once sex happens, especially before emotional exploration and understanding, it becomes difficult for me. I think it's best to just spend time getting to know her and the other women I date.

I'm allowing everything to unfold naturally, with no assumptions about the other person. I'm just being myself. I was myself yesterday. We went for a couple of drinks at Old Town Bodega, a cute place I used to frequent when I lived in the area.

I woke up a little anxious about how much money I spent, but I chose to cover the night. I'm sure she would have covered the drinks, but the bill came while she was in the washroom, and I paid for it.

Once I got going this morning and during prayer, I shifted my narrative and my story. Money is energy. My money is an extension of my energy. If I'm going to find a lifetime partner, I need to be willing to invest my energy into it. You get out what you put in.

This shift in my internal narrative brought me peace. I also know that when I feel anxious, it's temporary. Nothing is permanent. This mindset has profoundly shifted how I move through the world and how the energies and emotions flow within me. They are always fleeting, never permanent.

Now, the second date: what's next? What do I want? I like her. She's physically attractive. She's a medical doctor—intelligent, aware of others, and caring. She has all the positive qualities: she travels, eats healthily.

Interestingly, a recent conversation between Tim Ferriss and Kevin Rose on The Random Show stuck with me. Tim discussed dating and posed a question to himself: "Do I admire her, or do I respect her? Do we admire each other, or do we respect each other?" This resonated deeply. I respect many people in my life, perhaps even most. But those closest to me, the ones I truly love, I also deeply admire. Respect is important, but admiration feels like a whole other level. It's a helpful distinction for evaluating future dates and searching for a long-term partner.

I would add one more thing. I want a partner I adore and who adores me in return. Everything else on my list can be set aside, except for a few core values. If our values align but one or both of us don't admire and adore each other, I believe it would be difficult to go the distance.