Rooting and Rising

Expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same.

It's a new journal, and today is a new day. In a few hours at 11:30 am, I pick up the keys to my apartment. Of course, I wonder if it's the right choice for me. At this moment, I need to rest and strengthen my body and mind. More my body. I need to heal it. To do this, it's nice to root down, be close to family, and focus on building and creating without getting caught up in the energy of Toronto.

If I can today after my move, I'll get into nature, even High Park for some time. It's not the same as getting out of the city, but I chose to be here, so I need to find my spots.

I want to make my new place as cozy as possible.

I have something going on in my head and mind when it comes to dating. This is the deeper and more subtle heart wound within me. It's a ride internally. I'm aware of it. This is a good first step to healing myself, but it's a deep wound and very old. I don't know its source. I still need to get to the root. This erratic mind is triggered by a part of me that doesn't want to feel this way.

So instead it wants me to consume all types of media, spend money, give away my power, have drinks, eat food that dampens my energy. Always moving. It doesn't want this stillness like this moment. Cloudy, rainy day, birds chirping. Akira Kosemura playing softly in the background. Yesterday, I pitched my first podcast, and my insides became all constricted, and I was having trouble breathing.

I thought of taking my inhaler but knew I didn't need it. I needed to be with this constriction. Instead, I went for a walk within 15 to 20 minutes. My insides began to relax. I could breathe normally again. There's a fear inside of me. I've been writing and sharing from the sidelines out of the public eye.

Sure, I dip my toes in the water now and then, but I'm yet to jump into the pool.