Friction

Learning to hold opposing ideas and contradictory beliefs in our minds and hearts creates friction.
This friction fuels wisdom, growth, and deeper understanding, opening us to a compassionate perspective toward both the micro (the individual) and the macro (the collective).

Humanity’s reluctance to cultivate this ability—to hold opposites within ourselves—leads to disruptions on a larger scale.
It results in narrow-mindedness and a lack of compassion for others.

How Long Has it Been?

Staying small. Thinking small. Caught up in mundane thoughts.

Are you staying in your own shadow? Still don’t want to be seen? Still want to fly under the radar? What would it feel like to live above it?

Is there a connection between the freeze-and-flight response in the search for love and the hesitation in sharing your work? Do both require the same flavour of vulnerability and openness?

Why do I freeze when people see me? When they show genuine love for my work and way of being?

I recoil, uncertain.

Who benefits from staying small? From thinking small? From being caught up in mundane thoughts? What are these mundane thoughts?

Staying in the shadow is tempting; it’s the home of the exiled. But what parts have been exiled? What parts are yearning to rise to the surface, to sip the air of wind, to feel the heat of the sun and the light of the moon?

How long has it been?

It feels like lifetimes.

Business Lessons From a Smelly Fruit

Business is the main meal, and the fuck-ups are the appetizers we never ordered but are forced to eat. It’s only after we fully accept and consume them that we experience the nutrients that follow the failures.

There are beautiful lessons to learn if you open yourself up and embrace these delicious, unwanted appetizers. Here’s another way of looking at it: While in Bali for a yoga retreat, my friend Scott went on and on about a tropical fruit called durian and how delicious it was. But we didn’t have any at the retreat. One, it’s hard to get, and two, it wasn’t allowed on the resort because of its unbearable odor.

It wasn’t until the day we were on our way back to Ubud that our friend Keduk surprised us. We stopped off at the side of the road and exited the van. He bought us durian, but it was tied to the back of the tailpipe because he didn’t want to stink up the car.

Durian Fruit

If you Google durian fruit smell, here’s what comes up: “Its odor is best described as…turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock.”

In business, it’s not as important to avoid fuck-ups as it is to accept their inevitability and learn how to respond when they arrive. Business fuck-ups are kind of like the durian fruit: they’re uncomfortable to hold onto, smell like shit, but taste amazing when you dive in and are one of the most nutritious fruits on earth.

What’s even more interesting is that if you don’t want to walk around with smelly durian breath, the trick is to pour water into the empty durian shell and drink it. The same properties that make you stinky are the same properties that will freshen your breath.

Hmmmm…maybe this stinky little tropical fruit isn’t just a metaphor for business failures but for our entire lives.

Giving Birth to Consciousness

This piece was inspired by a recent conversation with a friend: Do we have enough health and wellness practitioners? Enough alternative healers? The short answer is no—we don’t. The longer answer is that we're far from balancing the scales. Look at the health and wellness field compared to the industries that keep us in unconscious cycles—food, pharmaceuticals, media, and work environments. Just step into a grocery store, liquor store, or notice the number of fast-food spots and bars filling up daily in Toronto. We have a lot of evolving to do to reach a higher vibrational state, to live more consciously.

So, what is consciousness? It’s being present, making decisions in the now for the now. It’s hard, I know. Even after years of my own growth, I still have my unconscious moments. Living in a city filled with endless temptations, I say I dance between two worlds. My aim is to dance in the conscious world most of the time, and, hopefully, one day, fully.

When I indulge in unconscious consumption—processed food, sugar, or a night out drinking with friends—it pulls me down into a fog. The moment feels great, but the day or two after? I'm in a low-energy, detached state. As my friend Anam says, we’re borrowing happiness from tomorrow.

There’s a growing list of healers—naturopaths, nutritionists, energy healers, bodyworkers, meditation and yoga teachers—who aren’t recognized by outdated systems of government and insurance. Why? Because embracing these healers would disrupt industries with deep financial roots in food, medicine, and pharmaceuticals. Those in power play a short-term game, focused on immediate gains. I don’t blame them; change is scary, no matter how much planning goes into it. But an unknown future is better than a stale, outdated present.

It may seem like alternative healers are abundant, but in reality, they barely scratch the surface of what’s needed. As more health and wellness practitioners enter the field, we'll start seeing support from governments and corporations because, currently, many can’t afford holistic options outside what insurance covers. Instead, people turn to drugs from the pharmaceutical industry because that’s what’s accessible.

So, how do we get insurance companies and governments to invest in proven holistic approaches? By encouraging more practitioners and keeping open minds.

Alternative healing is still a new concept to many, but if we want to shift the collective mindset, I encourage you to explore these paths yourself. We’re moving towards a beautiful blend of old and new, East and West. But to evolve as a society, we need to make choices that either move us forward or hold us back.

Earth is like a mother on the verge of giving birth. This new baby’s name is consciousness. And it’s the healers I mentioned who are the doctors, guiding this birth, holding the Earth’s hand, urging her to push. We see the head; we hear the cry. But there’s work left before consciousness is fully delivered.

It’s not about old religions.

It’s not about past leaders.

It’s not about clinging to outdated systems.

It’s about you and me.

Let’s give birth to this baby.

Let consciousness scream, dance, and play with us.

Some are fighting this birth, but we can tip the scale. It starts with each of us nurturing our own abilities, discovering and unlocking them. Where to begin? Start by being conscious of where you place your mind. Humanity’s evolution depends on it.

No pressure.

The Challenges of Showing Gratitude and Saying Thank You

I had an interesting realization the other night and have been wanting to write this all month. A pattern has surfaced within me—an inability to truly thank those who’ve had a profound impact on my life. When it’s someone I’ve known for only a short time, expressing my gratitude feels natural, like my thankfulness can match what I received.

But when it comes to people—and in this case, an entire community like GLP—that have profoundly shaped my life, I feel like no words could ever be enough. Nothing I say could measure up to the appreciation and love I feel.

Every single day, I find myself speaking about the GLP community, expressing my admiration and appreciation out loud. Talking about the impact you've all had on me is one of my proudest moments each day. You’ve shown me how to give and receive love, taught me that I am enough, and even shifted my view on social media—it’s not just a place for distraction, but a space that can truly connect and uplift.

You’ve given me permission to dive deeper, to be unapologetically myself.

As I entered a new decade, I took a moment to reflect on the one that just passed. My early thirties weren’t easy, but I got through them. I knew, even then, that there was a reward waiting. And in 2014, I received it—a gift that continues to unfold.

That gift is all of you.

I feel like I won the happiness lottery, a lottery that gave me access to a world of feeling good enough, a lottery that allowed me to shed all the masks I wore and simply be. The prize? A deeper self-awareness, an acceptance of who I am, and the permission to wear just one hat—my own.

Every day, I feel like the luckiest person alive, and it’s because of each of you. I love you all deeply. Thank you for being in my life and for being such incredible examples to follow.

Many see the world through a lens of negativity. I choose to see all of you. This community gives me the hope I need. When people complain about the state of the world, I think of you all and smile—inside and out. I know each of you is transforming, within and without, and your presence alone is impacting the world.

Regardless of how much darkness surrounds us, this community will always be the light the world needs. You are the flashlight that illuminates my path, that keeps hope alive, even in the darkest of times.

It’s by standing on the shoulders of this community that I can see the beauty that lies ahead.

The Collective Mind (mini challenge)

The individual mind feeds the collective mind.

We’re often so focused on pollution in the outside world—like climate change—but the real change starts with the pollution within. Building awareness around the state of our minds leads to more lasting, meaningful change for the collective. It’s our internal world that shapes the external. When we begin to truly understand this, we’ll realize we can influence the world outside us by turning inward and becoming more mindful of what we consume.

Is it challenging? Absolutely. With the constant flood of media, I’d be lying if I said I never get sucked in. But luckily, my ADD nature tends to pull me back out of the media vortex pretty quickly.

Here’s a small challenge to help build awareness around this:

Spend the next week just paying attention to what you consume and noticing how it makes you feel. Then, the following week, take a break from your usual consumption—no news, social media, Netflix, or whatever you typically turn to—and observe how you feel.

Share your experience with those close to you. Notice if even subtle changes show up in your mood or the way you go through your day-to-day life.

Did you feel any difference in your mindset?

Weapons and Pornography. Is it just Good Business?

Have you ever wondered why we constantly talk about how the world is in turmoil, how humans kill everything, including each other, yet no one seems to mention the weapons manufacturers and dealers? I believe the world is filled with much more good than bad, but the media loves to cater to our primitive brains, and we willingly consume it.

It’s fascinating that there’s rarely any coverage on where the weapons responsible for millions of deaths are actually coming from. All these weapons must be coming from somewhere, right?

Imagine if I owned a weapons manufacturing company, which, according to Google, is a five hundred billion-dollar industry. How invested would I be in world peace? What’s my marketing strategy to move everything from bullets to tanks and fighter jets? What motivates me as a weapons manufacturer? I’d be thrilled for wars and instability. Peace, after all, is bad for business. Love is bad for business. But instability and chaos? That keeps the money flowing.

Now, let’s think about pornography. While it’s not as massive as the weapons industry, it’s still a multi-billion-dollar industry. They produce, and we consume.

If we take ethics out of the conversation for a moment, are the pharmaceutical, oil, insurance, and education industries any different? The products and services may vary, but the systems keeping them afloat are nearly identical. They sell, and we buy. We actively contribute to these systems.

So, what do we do? Do we raise the white flag and say, "I’m just one person; what can I possibly do? I’ll never break the system. It’s too big." Or do we fight? Do we protest, picket, and expose their crimes to the world?

Both are fair positions, but they share one common outcome: neither leads to lasting change.

What if we approached this differently? Let’s move from a macro to a micro level. Let’s look at you and me and our habits. Habits are pathways wired in our brains. I learned in Positive Psychology that existing pathways can’t be destroyed, but we can create new ones parallel to the old. The more we walk the new path, the weaker the old one becomes.

Here’s where I’m going with this. I like to use smoking as an example because I smoked for almost twenty-five years. Fifteen of those years, I struggled with quitting and restarting. I had many pathways and triggers that led me to light up. One was driving. Every time I drove, especially in traffic, I would smoke. To change that habit, I didn’t try to break the pathway (well, at first I did). Instead, I replaced it. I drank coffee, water, or tea while driving instead of smoking. Eventually, the new pathway became stronger, and I succeeded in quitting.

As bad as these systems—war, pornography, or any other—are, our feelings alone won’t change them. These pathways are too strong and deeply ingrained.

What is possible, however, is countering them by creating new systems. Trying to break the old pathways from the top down results in zero long-term change.

It’s time to create new pathways and systems from the ground up, understanding that we may never witness the results. But we must trust that it’s worth the effort.

Rocking Vulnerability: Embracing Fear and Finding Evolution

I've been reading and listening to Brené Brown's work for a couple of years now, and I've also been consciously practicing vulnerability. But yesterday, I took it to a whole new level. I was nervous all week, trying to prepare for this talk—it was uncharted territory. The last time I gave a speech was in grade 7. I made it to the gym and almost competed with other schools. My buddy Dave won; he was the better storyteller. Now, at 39, I'm a much different man (thank God). If I were the same, that would be a whole other problem.

Last night, I stood up in front of 150 strangers, some of whom were friends and family I had invited. I face-planted with a level of vulnerability that would have made Brené Brown proud. I was in the arena. I got up and wiped the dust off, and today was a brand-new morning. Even though I forgot most of my speech, I felt fucking good. That doesn't mean my self-talk was all positive. Absolutely not. I'm human.

My initial thoughts were that I had disappointed Greg, who runs the Toronto chapter of ManTalks and invited me to speak. I also disappointed Conner, the founder of ManTalks, and I disappointed the audience. They took time out of their Monday evening for this event, and I choked. I got stage fright. I tried to compose myself and start over. I'd get going, then get stuck again.

Finally, I just gave up and admitted to everyone that I had completely forgotten what I wanted to say and share. Afterward, my mind raced with all the things I wanted to say but didn't—all the experiences I could have shared in the hopes of inspiring others to begin the process of looking inward and connecting with themselves because lasting confidence and deep connections begin from within.

Yes, it could have been better, and yes, I could have rocked it. But there were lessons I needed to learn, and I'm glad I learned them early—on a big stage. Being in this area of public speaking, I know the size of the stage I want to strive for. I know the level I eventually want to play at. And I will say, by no means was this a small stage. Sponsored by Samsung, with a wicked ass stage, purpose, and the best part—a wonderful audience.

I was thinking about a quote by Jamie Foxx during his interview with Tim Ferriss. He said, "Do you know what's on the other side of fear? Nothing." I loved that, but I would take it to another level.

On the other side of fear is evolution.

We have been taught to see fear as something to conquer, but it turns out that fear is something to embrace. The same goes for failure. If you don't fail, how do you receive clarity on which direction to head? Failure is a beautiful compass that guides us toward our highest potential.

I want another shot so badly. I'm opening myself to the Universe right this minute. My heart is open and ready. Dear Universe, I'm ready to play BIG.

I don't know where this culture of perfection and the need to always look good to the outside world came from while we struggle and sit in pain in our internal world. It stunts the evolution of humanity and keeps our hearts closed. I'm sure there was a moment in history when we were required to close up, but honestly, I don't give a fuck. Where we stand right now is what's important. We all need to encourage each other to embrace walking in spaces where there's potential for face plants. It forces us to reflect and look inside ourselves.

I cancelled cable at 25. Do you know why? First, I was falling asleep on a hand-me-down IKEA sofa when I had a kick-ass mattress I paid enormous amounts of money for in the other room. The other reason was I was watching all these people, whether in fiction or nonfiction, living their lives while I wasn't living mine. When I turned off the tube, I had no choice but to get creative with my time. I met my first girlfriend, who gifted me my first book, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, which happened to change my fucking life. He talks about living your legend and how it should be your sole purpose—discover your personal journey and walk your path. This also led to my love of reading. Wow, there is actually a book and author out there that I could love. I always thought I hated reading, but in reality, I hated what the academic world was feeding me. Do you know we are still teaching Shakespeare? Are you kidding me? Our world is not ending; it's just stale, with the same old ways and messages. We need to liven it up by stepping into the unknown and identifying our own journey.

Do you know why people don't like meditation? It's not for the reason many say, which is, "I just can't sit down and quiet my mind." I had an aha realization. It's not the quieting of the mind that's the challenge; it's discovering what lies inside that's the challenge. When you begin the process, the goal isn't to calm the mind but to get into your mind, your body—specifically your heart—and then into your soul. When you get that deep, that's when the real shit opens up. That's when you start considering therapy and coaching because you have no choice but to discover your personal journey and purpose. It will rock your world and shake you up, but it's so fucking worth it.

Mirroring is the way to grow. Every step you take and every human you connect with is a mirror to you, especially in romantic relationships. I dated women who had no problems holding up those mirrors. There were mirrors everywhere! Eventually, I got the point and headed to therapy.

Therapy changed my life. It allowed me to open up and air out all the old scabs that never healed properly.

You know, I have this thing called Nexus. It allows me to bypass the line at the airport simply by scanning my eyes, generating wonder, awareness and curiosity. It reminds me how unique I am and how important it is to stay on my path, discover my personal journey, and unlock and reveal the portals within me. We have yet to reach the peak of our capacity. People talk about how the world is ending. I believe we are just beginning. So don't worry about the outside noise; don't pay too much attention. Decrease the external volume and increase the internal volume.

If you ever question your unique nature or authenticity, think about your iris and your fingerprints. There are seven billion-plus people on this planet, and there's only one authentic you.

Embrace fear and respect the failures because that's where evolution is waiting for you.

Rocking vulnerability feels good. My heart is a little more open today than it was before the talk. I love the path I'm on because I know it's my path to walk.

Open the door. I dare you.

“Where a few great minds once acted, now the entire human race must struggle to save our world from the dangers of its own excess.”

While the world may seem chaotic, it’s merely a sign of the next chapter. We consume all this negativity and then wonder what happened. We base our perception of the world on messages projected from a square box. We ask why there’s so much hatred and violence, but it’s like eating fast food three times a day and then asking, “Why am I so unhealthy? Why did I have a heart attack?” We are all participants in the cycles of negativity and responsible for every act of violence. We mindlessly consume information from the outside and allow it to dictate how we show up in the world. It’s time to let the external world reflect each individual’s authentic internal self.

We fixate on the Saints and Prophets of the past and look to the future with the hope of better times, but in doing so, we ignore the human potential of the present. We turn a blind eye to our own abilities and power. We all have it. We all know and feel it—that deeper, underlying uneasiness, a sense that there’s something greater. If we simply open our eyes fully, we’ll see that an internal evolution is happening. No longer will there be just a handful of Saints and Prophets, but an endless number.

Stop looking outward and turn your gaze inward. That’s where all the answers lie. Expanded consciousness and awareness reside within, just waiting—waiting for you to pay the tiniest bit of attention so they can soar. Crack open that internal door. I dare you.

Three Access Points to the Depths of YOU

I think a lot about the three access points/layers: the body, mind, and spirit. To live a happy life from the inside out, we need two out of three functioning optimally to reach a high level of happiness and present life satisfaction. If you can get all three going, you will reach some next-level success and wisdom.

How do we do this? We exercise the body, mind, and spirit. We train to strengthen the pillars of who we are. Meditation is how I maintain my balance and clarity and experience expansion.

Firstly, I find it easier to live a human life because I live in equanimity, creating space to allow the flow of energy. This enables me to be more adaptable in my external life.

Secondly, meditation allows access to my spirit. The clearer the mind, the easier it is to access my spirit and all the intelligence within and through it. I know it’s a little out there if you’ve never experienced meditation or a spiritual practice, but I promise it is accessible to all. You are accessible to yourself (if that makes any sense). You are an oil field waiting to be tapped, but the only person who can tap into you is, you guessed it, YOU.

Some people have a challenging time accessing or purifying the mind. Their life experience is so intellectual that their minds are stuck in their heads, and breaking the dam to get into their bodies is emotionally and physically painful. So, the best way to do it is to take the back door directly to the spirit.

Welcome to the world of Psychedelics or Religion. You pick and choose what feels suitable for you. There is no one right way; there is no one right path. There is no single path to reach your destination, which is the purification of the mind. It’s your path and your choice as to how you want to reach that destination. More importantly, it’s also your choice whether you even care about reaching that destination and discovering the depths of you.

I remember when a friend shared with me that she knows where the path to self-discovery leads, the path to the purification of the mind and access to her spirit, but she made a conscious decision to say, “I’m not ready; I love my external world and all the goodness that comes with it.” I have an abundance of love for people who make these types of conscious decisions.

It’s your body, your mind, your spirit. It’s your choice.

If the mind is difficult to reach, you can tackle it from both body and spirit. The purification process will be a lot more efficient. My ultimate goal is to run optimally from all three areas. The combination of body and spirit purifies the mind from above and below. It’s like cutting weeds from the top (physical exercise) and simultaneously pulling the roots out from below (spiritual practices such as prayer or psychedelics).

Once we reach the purification of the mind, all dissolve, and spirit, mind, and body synchronize and melt into one, leading to infinite intelligence. I wish there was a magic pill to reach and maintain this state, but there is not. It requires multiple lifetimes of work, although we are in a collective global self-discovery mode, putting the process of waking up on a fast track, and it is beautiful to witness.

Regardless of what is occurring in the mainstream media, or any media for that matter, if you just decide to turn it off for a little while, you will begin to see the beauty that I see. My hope for humanity is to turn down the external volume and increase the internal volume. The world wants to see you. The world wants to experience you. The world needs you.

I’ll end with one of my favourite quotes: “You are more powerful than you think; act accordingly.” – Seth Godin