Emptiness in Neutrality

I feel empty today—not in a negative way, just neutral. I don’t have the energy to create, reflect, or dig into any deep insights. But I also don’t feel down or heavy. I feel neutral—a nice place to be. From this space, I can handle the admin stuff. My heart feels good, alive, energized. There’s an energy moving through me as I write.

Winding down, spending my evenings in silence with my journals and books, and beginning my mornings in the same quiet are meditations in themselves. I notice the subtle energies inside and outside of me, although I’m still tuning back into the external world. I’m not really doing anything, just learning to be within the being, to exist in the stillness. I simply observe.

Becoming the watcher once again.

I’m in this space, in this body, on this Earth, spinning and whirling on a floating ball in the universe. Just a blip in the system. What are we doing? What are we supposed to be doing? It’s such an odd thing to be human. Are we here to clean up karma from our lineage? Are we here to be tested? We have all these different ways to "sin"—good deeds, bad deeds. But what's the point of complaining about anything?

Super Moon in Aries

It’s so strange; I don’t think humans have really changed that much. The evolution of technology gives the illusion of human evolution, but in reality, we’re either on the side of making cool stuff or using it.

I yearn for a simple life. I want to enjoy this Earth as she was meant to be enjoyed. To align with her rhythm and dance to her tune, not the other way around. If we could just look up at the moon and remember we are nothingness, we might arrive at a place of humility, love, and deep connection. From that place, we’ll find everything we need. Because, really, we’re just not all that. Just a bunch of little ants with two feet, crawling around on this rock with inflated egos, trying to convince each other of what's right and wrong, defining morals that are complex and comparative. But in the end, it's all an illusion, a way to divide us from ourselves and each other.

What a strange thing it is to despise someone because of the colour of their skin, the name on their passport, or the religion they were born into. What a bizarre thing it is to make another suffer because of how they believe in God, how they dress, or how much money they have. It’s all so strange—the way we raise our children, how resistant we are to change, and how easily we’re coerced into devastating ideologies.

We’re really not that bright. I want to say we’re borderline idiotic, but I know that’s not kind. Maybe we’re just a collection of dummies. You know, I believe in God. I believe in Source, in the Divine, in angels and guides, in beings that are exponentially more enlightened than us—a place we may never reach. But every now and then, I wonder: Is there something wrong with God’s manufacturing plant? Are they using expired ingredients?

Of course, maybe there’s a greater plan, and we’re just too limited in these human costumes to see it. And even if we could see it, maybe our minds are too limited to understand. Perhaps the truth is right in front of us, and that’s the problem—we’re too close to see it.

It always comes back to the mind. But why? Why is the mind so vulnerable? I understand the physical body reflects the Earth, and I see the soul as a reflection of the Divine. But what about the mind? Why is it so easily attacked, while the heart is so easily broken? Yes, the heart’s purpose is to love, but I feel there’s more to explore there. Or maybe we just need to learn what love really is because at the moment we’re fucking terrible at it.

The mind. The heart. One is easily manipulated, the other easily broken.