That’s a smile of a man going to visit his daughter for two months. I’m not sure where his eyes are looking (He probably got distracted by a beautiful woman).
If you want to know where I get all my good habits it’s the young man on the left who is responsible for that. If you want to know where I get all my bad habits, to that I respond, what bad habits?
I was dropping him off at the airport on New Years eve. He is off to spend two months with my sister. Here is a little wisdom he shared. I asked him about New Years resolutions and he responded with rolling his eyes and said: “Everyday, make small improvements in your life”. This is a man who has played and continues to play the long game.
I’m also not one for resolutions but I do think it’s a beautiful time to reflect on the years that have past, on the challenges faced and the love and successes experienced. Although I may not set resolutions, I will take the past year and build upon my successes and what already exists. I know for me, failure with resolutions were trying to start something never done the years prior and setting unattainable goals.
Instead of starting something new why not build on something that already exists? Here are some examples from different areas of my life:
Sychem (My main biz)
Build the business by developing the people whom are already in my business. I noticed when working for other companies that they would always hire outside for management roles as oppose to spending the money and more importantly the time to evolve from within. The main reason companies don’t do this is because its hard and time consuming. It also requires great leadership skills, which leads me to my next area of improvement. To continue working on becoming a more evolved leader. I believe I have done a good job the last few years in becoming a better leader by stepping back and allowing our team to flourish. Now its time to get back in and see where I can help them to build on all that they have gained and work with them to identify the next steps in their evolution which in turn will result in the next steps of the companies evolution.
My goal is to meet one on one with each team member on a quarterly basis (every two months for management) and identify their strengths and how and where they want to evolve. Together we identify what there goals are and map out realistic steps to achieve them.
I will become a more evolved leader by spending more time coaching, listening and building our management team.
I had my first speaking gig, I ran three workshops and I have a blog! It’s a legit blog (thank you Evan La Ruffa!) that only two years ago it was a name and an idea. Three years ago I didn’t even journal let alone write. Ever evolving has been a space for me to learn to share my voice and my stories, building courage and learning to be vulnerable. I also got super clear on my coaching content (thank you Jenna Arak!). What will I build on this year you ask? Well, here are some examples:
Run 12 workshops this year. This is a doable goal now that I got my feet wet and I have also made plans to collaborate and bring in guest speakers to cover a wide range of topics.
Have preliminary coaching sessions with 5 individuals and 2 businesses. A total of 15 hours of coaching. While these goals may seem small, since I didn’t officially coach any person or business last year, it’s super important to start small and build up momentum. It’s all about playing the long game!
Become more consistent with blogging. Write one blog per week and select a day to post them.
I had my first speaking gig in 2016. My goal is to have 3 speaking gigs in 2017.
I learned it’s important to take it easy on ourselves. We are humans and we need to generate some momentum and also remember that we are playing here. It’s not fun to set goals so high that we don’t even know which way to walk. Also, the above goals are building on successes I have already had and super important, they all are interconnected. My workshops may lead to coaching clients, my collaboration may lead to speaking gigs and my speaking gigs may lead to more visitors on my blog. See where I’m going here?
I had an incredible, blessed year filled with an incredible number of deep, beautiful connections. My 2017 is about nurturing existing connections and as always be open to making new connections. It’s about the quality of connection as oppose to the longevity or amount of time spent. This year my main focus is on making a list of all the people in my life and mapping out who I want to deepen the connection with and how I can nurture the relationships. People whom light me up and challenge me and adore me as much as I adore them. It’s a two lane highway friendship as I like to call them.
My goal is to make my list and make a conscious decision on who will be the regulars in my life. If this sounds cold, it’s not. It’s time that limits us, nothing more. I would love to be best friends with everyone but its sadly not realistic.
The quality of connections I have with others is a direct result of the quality of connection I have with myself. I will continue to deepen the connection with myself by experiencing life, whether thats through travel, attending workshops, meditation or simply reading books that inspire me to take risks and walk towards what I resist and where I am scared to fail.
I have been practicing Yoga for three years now, but feel its time to up my game. I am feeling limitations within in my own body so based on one of my teachers recommendation (thank you Krista Marie Starr!) I decided to do some body work, called Rolfing with Jennifer Hays which is “hands on form of body work that manually addresses the body’s facial layers to realign the body”. I have only completed one of ten sessions and immediately noticed a difference in my practice.
My motivation is to realign and balance myself to my original state. I have been struggling with my balance as of late and a little achy in certain areas that I think are just the result of how I work, the amount I drive and the amount of walking that I do in a week. If Rolfing accomplishes this, which I’m confident after the first session it will, I will have a lot more fun taking my yoga practice to another level.
In addition to practicing in the studio, I also practice at home 2-3 times a week for about 15-30mins. My goal is to keep the 2-3 times a week, but enhance my learning by watching youtube videos and going on 2-3 Yoga retreats this year.
A big part of my health maintenance is meditation. This year I plan to take Susan Piver and Jenna Hollenstein course on becoming a certified meditation instructor so I can teach it to others because once you hit a ceiling, which I have in my meditation practice, the next step to evolution in my experience is teaching. It’s a beautiful way to strengthen any area in our life that we have years of experience practicing. Teaching generates a new pathway of understanding.
Learning to be consciously grateful has been an invaluable practice. It has opened and elevated my heart to new heights. It has taught me to savour life, to savour moments, to savour every breath in which I am gifted by the higher powers.
I learned to be more grateful the last few years. Grateful for every aspect of my life. Friends, family, health, food, travel, lovers, the list is endless because I also learned to be grateful for even the tiniest of things, like sipping on a cup of coffee, eating chocolate chip cookies and munching on cheese and crackers (do you see a theme arising here?).
I’m going to write thank you letters to the people in my life. It’s a weird hesitation for me, but for some reason I am blocked mentally when I am writing a thank you note to people who have impacted me. I have written a few via text and email, but I’m talking physical cards and mailing them or hand delivering them. I received some this year and its the best feeling.
I purchased two boxes consisting of 14 thank you cards each. My goal is to write 28 thank you cards this year. Last year I wrote two cards of appreciation, but it was a birthday and one was an exercise at a workshop. I learned the size of our goal is not important, it just needs to be enough to learn what the act feels like and enough to build momentum.
Don’t get me wrong. I love a little challenge. To try or do something that I have never done. The last two years I started the year with Tim Ferriss’s NOBNOM 30-day challenge and it profoundly shifted my life in health and romance. This January I’m starting my own challenge. It’s a type of fasting for me. No coffee and no chocolate chip cookies for 30 days. Now, I must admit I bought a chocolate chip walnut cookie from Portland Variety on December 31st and I had half left on January 1st. I ain’t crazy. I consumed that cookie like it was the last cookie on earth! It’s really important not to get so strict with ourselves that we make our life and others lives around us miserable (and throw away a perfectly good cookie). Have some fun with your challenges. You are human. You’re going to fuck up and drop the ball sometimes. The faster you accept that realization the kinder you will be to yourself. Falling and failing is a natural part of the process.
I know its ludicrous and you think I’m out of my mind. Why am I doing it? It’s not to quit coffee forever and definitely not to stop consuming chocolate chip cookies. I’m doing it because I don’t know what life is like without coffee. I’ve been drinking it since I was 16. Thats 24 years! It’s a little experiment to shake up my insides and see how it reflects on the outside. I’m sure it won’t be a pretty reflection for the first week or two but where ugly hangs, beauty is not to far behind, Think about a diamond before it became a diamond or the fact that shit is used to cultivate life.
On that note happy new year. I hope that this was helpful and that instead of starting something new, you build on what you have already started and remember, you may not think that you don’t have impact on this world, but you are an awesome force of nature with unlimited untapped potential. Set goals that compliment and elevate YOU.
Play the long game. Build on what exists. Create challenges for yourself and most importantly, remember to have fun.
Love you. No really, I fucking love you!